How Overdosing Changed my Life In a Positive Way – Death Gave Me Life

I have never really been a tea drinker. When I was younger I avoided everything that seemed to be healthy. Drinking 2-3 Liters of Coca-Cola everyday simply made me feel better. Maybe not long-tearm. But certainly short-tearm. It was an addiction actually. My mood decreased when I haven’t had my bottle of cola next to me and I even became agressive.

It was not after I got to know my (now) ex-girlfriend that I started to get a little more concious about the way I eat. She was a tea addict and literally drank it all day long. No matter if it was in the morning. The night. For lunch. For dinner. No matter what the time was she made a tea for herself. Being with her I kind of started getting in the habit of it too. After a while she gave me a clear suggestion that I actually should start to drink some more green tea. All I was doing at that time was going to nightclubs and taking every drug under this sun. My eating habits sucked and I wasn’t really sleeping that much. So drinking a cup of tea once in a while didn’t seem to be the worst idea in the world.

I started becomming more (a little) healthier in general. And the tea actually gave me some kind of balance in my otherwise completly fucked up and unconcious lifestyle. My other habits started to change too. And I went to the gym more often and started to eat a little bit healthier. That lasted for a little bit. Then eventually everything fell of the place again. I left my girlfriend. my eating sucked. I was spending way to much money. Went clubbing litarally every day. And I took drugs constantly.

After I left my girlfriend completly (before it was kind of “officially unofficial” – if that makes sense) I went out again. I was angry as fuck that day. I bought a pill. Took half of it. And went to talk to this cute chick that was staring at me all the time. I took the other half. Then another pill. I went to buy some more with the girl that I was hanging out with. 3 more. I took them all that day but didn’t got high.

The come down has been really fucked up though. Like two days later I started. Three days later I was depressed as fuck. I didn’t even know the reason why, until my friend gave me a clue – “uhh.. maybe because of the 5 x you took on sunday??!”. Well.. maybe he was right. I haven’t had a down like this for so long. It was probably more then a year ago that I felt that depressed.

During that peroid I spend most of my time after with a girl that I got to know not long before. We went smoking, I could share all my depressive stories with her and I fucked her a couple times without a condom (she was on the pill but it was still a very stupid decision looking back). However spending time with her really helped me. She showed me how purposeless my life really is and that I need a goal in life. Instead of spending all my time getting fucked up as a form of escapism. She was right!

Slowly I started to adapt healthier habits. I listened to some good self-development tapes. Started reading books. Haven’t been going that often anymore. Stopped taking drugs. Took on some healthier eating habits. I did all kinds of Supplements. And I started to go to the gym again.

The effects this had on my life were drastic. I was in a better mood. Hell, I was in a good mood pretty much constantly. My self-confidence improved and was back to normal again. I was able to concentrate better then ever. I was finally curious about the world again and I was able to retain more knowledge then I ever could before in my life. I felt better. I outlined what I want out of my life. And I took action in the direction I wanted to.
I will write more about what specificly I did to change my mood/my habits/my life so drasticly in furture posts. I am realy happy with the direction that I am taking at the moment. And I will keep you posted about my journey. Sometimes it just takes a depressed day or week to change your life completly. The depressed week I had after leaving my girlfried was probably the best thing that happened in my life.

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