sex

Be congruent to the person you want to BECOME

If you aren’t where you want to be in life. When you don’t get the results that you want to have, then it is time to change something. You need to BECOME someone else. Only then you can also GET what you want.

Change is hard though. Everything in your body will resist that change. You will procrastinate and trick yourself into believing that you are “taking action”. Even though all you do is sitting around watching YouTube.

Strong commitment is required to make lasting change. You act now through the person you want to be. That is how you actually become that person.

How to make lasting change:
1. Know who you want to be
2. Behave like you already are that person

Fake it till you make it is the sentence to internalise in this case.

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Progress Thread

So I’ve been out yesterday. In tearms of girls I had the shittiest night in a long time. Even though my original intention to go out was just to push my low self-esteem when I go out. By getting some girls to love me. It wasn’t really working yesterday. Partly because of bad luck (girls were not really availeble). And the other part was my washy mood and with that my bad vibe/lack of skill (to pushy, giving up to fast and so on). Mostly it was bad luck though and the girls just weren’t availeble. A lot of them were young and bitchy too. The young age is actually why I don’t really like to go to this club I’ve been at. There were two girls in the venue that I have already fucked though. So I ended up going home with one of them. The other one wrote me a message today. I will meet her on the weekend.

In tearms of business I made some good profits. I made 50 bucks in an hour or so. My net profit is a little bit more then 25 bucks. And I made some good new lessons on how to be a good sales person. It’s all about building rapport. You just chat up people in a nice and friendly way. You have genuinly good intentions and just vibe with them. Thats what a good sales peron does. No convincing. No hard sells. None of that shit. I also made some good connections and might make some more $$$ today.

My to do list for today is:
– tutoring lessons
– recording two voice over samples for upwork (one in english, one in my native tongue)
– recording a sample for a project I apllied to and the people were interested and wanted to have a sample
– buying a couple more broken phones and sell them for profit

Today in the evening I have a date as well. So I am on a tight schedule today. And I absolutly love it 😉

Daily Steps

Most of my life I had a hard time following and tracking my goals. Still have. Responsible for it is my ADD. Right now is pretty much the first time in my life that I have goals I actually believe in though. Following up is a must. While I don’t know how the stars align and everything will turn out ultimatly. What I can control is my actions.

There is two things I want to accomplish:

What do I want:
1. Making a lot of money
2. Banging 100 chicks

Why do I want this: Because I want to be the person that I always wanted to be.

What are the steps that I need to do to accomplish that
– Getting better at my skills:
• Writing
• Marketing
• Banging and retaining girls
• Investing money

How do I accomplish that:
To sum everything up in one word: Progress
Everything that hinders me from making progress (lack of motivation, concentration, non defined goals) are obstacles that will be blown away. I will find solutions to takle all of them.

The timetable would look the following:
4 hours a day invested in making money
4 hours a day invested in girls (actively picking up/dates etc.)
1 hour a day reading on my topics

My specific goals:
1. Having 100.000 € cash (50k for an operation, the other 50k for an apartment that I want to buy)
2. Having slept with 100 girls, as well as retaining 4 fuckbuddies for at least 6 months (6+ on my scale)

What are the daily steps that I take to accomplish those goals:
1. Having 100.000 € in Cash:
• building my brand by writing an article or recording a video/podcast
• learning about marketing
• recording a sample for a voice-over (for upwork voice-over gigs)
• writing a sample sales letter (for upwork copy writing gigs)
• get a new Product to sell on my blog and write a sales page (Bathmate)
• taking a step towards some side gig that will bring me money (e.g. buying a car to work as a ueber driver)
• apply for 5 Upwork jobs
• writing a sales page for some offline hustle (e.g. tutoring ads)
• buy something for a low and sell it for a higher price (make at least 50 bucks on it)

2. Banging and retaining girls:
– approaching 5 girls
– being on a date with a new girl (girl that I got to known in the streets/the club)
– going on a date with a girl I already know (day 2 / fuckbuddy)
– finding a solution for a sticking point that I have
– get the girl to get more emotionally invested in you

Deadlines:
12 months – banging 100 chicks and retaining for of them (deadline: 01.07.2016)
24 months – having 100.000 in cash (deadline: 01.07.2018)

I will keep myself accountable by having this blog as well as having my own little notebook to keep my daily progress.

No luck needed if controlable variables are involved.

How Overdosing Changed my Life In a Positive Way – Death Gave Me Life

I have never really been a tea drinker. When I was younger I avoided everything that seemed to be healthy. Drinking 2-3 Liters of Coca-Cola everyday simply made me feel better. Maybe not long-tearm. But certainly short-tearm. It was an addiction actually. My mood decreased when I haven’t had my bottle of cola next to me and I even became agressive.

It was not after I got to know my (now) ex-girlfriend that I started to get a little more concious about the way I eat. She was a tea addict and literally drank it all day long. No matter if it was in the morning. The night. For lunch. For dinner. No matter what the time was she made a tea for herself. Being with her I kind of started getting in the habit of it too. After a while she gave me a clear suggestion that I actually should start to drink some more green tea. All I was doing at that time was going to nightclubs and taking every drug under this sun. My eating habits sucked and I wasn’t really sleeping that much. So drinking a cup of tea once in a while didn’t seem to be the worst idea in the world.

I started becomming more (a little) healthier in general. And the tea actually gave me some kind of balance in my otherwise completly fucked up and unconcious lifestyle. My other habits started to change too. And I went to the gym more often and started to eat a little bit healthier. That lasted for a little bit. Then eventually everything fell of the place again. I left my girlfriend. my eating sucked. I was spending way to much money. Went clubbing litarally every day. And I took drugs constantly.

After I left my girlfriend completly (before it was kind of “officially unofficial” – if that makes sense) I went out again. I was angry as fuck that day. I bought a pill. Took half of it. And went to talk to this cute chick that was staring at me all the time. I took the other half. Then another pill. I went to buy some more with the girl that I was hanging out with. 3 more. I took them all that day but didn’t got high.

The come down has been really fucked up though. Like two days later I started. Three days later I was depressed as fuck. I didn’t even know the reason why, until my friend gave me a clue – “uhh.. maybe because of the 5 x you took on sunday??!”. Well.. maybe he was right. I haven’t had a down like this for so long. It was probably more then a year ago that I felt that depressed.

During that peroid I spend most of my time after with a girl that I got to know not long before. We went smoking, I could share all my depressive stories with her and I fucked her a couple times without a condom (she was on the pill but it was still a very stupid decision looking back). However spending time with her really helped me. She showed me how purposeless my life really is and that I need a goal in life. Instead of spending all my time getting fucked up as a form of escapism. She was right!

Slowly I started to adapt healthier habits. I listened to some good self-development tapes. Started reading books. Haven’t been going that often anymore. Stopped taking drugs. Took on some healthier eating habits. I did all kinds of Supplements. And I started to go to the gym again.

The effects this had on my life were drastic. I was in a better mood. Hell, I was in a good mood pretty much constantly. My self-confidence improved and was back to normal again. I was able to concentrate better then ever. I was finally curious about the world again and I was able to retain more knowledge then I ever could before in my life. I felt better. I outlined what I want out of my life. And I took action in the direction I wanted to.
I will write more about what specificly I did to change my mood/my habits/my life so drasticly in furture posts. I am realy happy with the direction that I am taking at the moment. And I will keep you posted about my journey. Sometimes it just takes a depressed day or week to change your life completly. The depressed week I had after leaving my girlfried was probably the best thing that happened in my life.

My Trip to Frankfurt – Embracing Masculinity

And here we go! I am leaving my beautiful and lovely city and go to Frankfurt for a few days. Why am I doing so? A friend of mine who is a dating coach is going there. He has a Client from Frankfurt who wants him to come to his city and work on his pick up skills. My friend wrote me yesterday at 11 pm.:

“btw do you wanna come with me to Frankfurt?”
“Sounds cool. When you wanna go?”
“In like 4 hours.”
“haha”

I was really bemused by his spontaniety. However this was a little bit to short tearm for me.
Especially because I had to pick up something that day from the pharmacy.

I also had to think about it. Do I really want to go to Frankfurt? What will I do there? Do I like the city enough? Is it cool enough for me?
Well, what I dislike more then making a stupid decision is regretting something that I did not do. Also nothing is really stopping me at the moment. I have no commitments. And I have the freedom to travel as well as some money to do so. The only thing I am busy with at the moment are girls and my Blog. Well, I can write my Blog from everywhere (I’m doing in in the bus right now). There are chicks ready to be picked up in pretty much every city around the world. So that isn’t really a problem either.
And I fucking like to experience something new!! The thing that conviced me in the end though was going to this kind of shady city and having some cool experiences with my friend. Especially with this friend. I like hanging out with him and I can learn a lot from him. I am really blocking myself at the moment. I just want to get one area of my life handled. Probably the hardest area that I ever had to face. My social life. Or to put it more accurately: My Sex Life. I don’t live a life of choice. And that means I am a slave. Everyone assums that I am such a pimp and so good with girls. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. I am still just a scared little boy. That is all that I am. I don’t have choice. I have a lot of anxiety. And I am extremly reliant on other peoples approvel. I get lucky once in a while with girls that choose me.

But this is NOT what I want. I want to get the girls I desire. I want to have A LOT of choice. And I want to align my self-image with reality. And I will do it during the next couple days. And my friend will help me with it.

I will face my fears. I will get the fear of rejection out of my system and be able to approach the girls that I want whenever I want. I want to bang hot girls CONSITENTLY. And I want to KNOW for myself that I can get laid WHENEVER I want to do so.

So the Action-Plan for the next 3 days is:
1. Hanging out with my friend
2. Approaching a lot of hot girls
3. Faceing my fear of rejection and getting over my anxiety
4. Getting all the information I possibly can out of my friends head into mine

I will face my fears and devellop as a person on that trip. If I don’t fuck a girl and don’t get over my anxiety I will just kill myself. Seriously. It is time to be that cool and social guy that I always wanted to be. It is time to transform to the person that I already am. And that actually comes more natural to me than this weird persona that I choose to embody right now. Fuck that. I want to fuck and get girls on the regular. I want to have choice, abundance and what I want out of life.

When I am back from this trip I am a new man. I will go to Poland directly after and practise my new learned skills on the cute polish girls. I will bang those sluts until my dick falls of.

Why you NEED a Sex-Playlist

I finally did mine. Seriously. It was long overdue. You can not just not have a sex-playlist. That is lunatic. Having a sex-playlist makes life so much easier..

So I did it. After all those months and months that I had tracks playing randomly when I had a girl over at my place I finally got myself together. I sat down and choose the tracks that leave you with a good feeling when you are in the process of banging. Or in the process of making the girl comfortable enough to bang you. For that matter.

It was always extremly annoying when you are chilling with a girl. The room fills with a sexually charged conversation and seductive eye-contact. And then suddenly the music switches from chill house tunes to a dark techno track. Oh lord, how can you be so cruel?

What is even more annoying is my own OCD type of behavior. I am making out with a girl on my sofa. In my mind I am already one step ahead and thinking about how I will take her on my bed and then fuck her hard. However. In exactly that moment the music switches. The transition isn’t smooth at all. And I can’t get out of my head how this sond is annoying me at that moment. So I stop the make out. Go on my soundcloud. And switch to another song. The girl busts out some laughs at the same time and has a face like “is this really just happening?”. Yes honey, it is. I enjoy making out with you. But I can’t if the track isn’t adding to the atmosphere. I’m sorry.

I am glad all this is a thing of the past now. I have my playlist together. And as it always is, when I was done I asked myself why I haven’t made it earlier. It was a thing of 20 minutes and the benefits are basicly unlimited. So if you don’t have one already. Open your soundcloud or YouTube right now and put some cool/chill/sexy songs together. So you always have something to play when you have a girl over.

Porn induced erectile dysfunction and how to beat it

I am suffering from porn-induced erectile dysfunction. And, if you are reading this, you might do the same. It is beyond crazy that we live in a time, were guys in their TWENTIES and even guys in their TEENS have trouble getting an erection to real woman. What is even more crazy is that the fact that this loss of erectile ability isn’t really heard about in the mainstream yet. When I realised that I couldn’t “get it up” with real woman anymore I had no idea that porn might be the reason for it. I haven’t heard of it in the News. No one in the radio talked about it. And even my doctors (I think I went to 4 of them) were absolutly CLUELESS and couldn’t really give me a suggesstion how to fix it. I made the suggesstion to go on testosterone-replacement-therapy. My doctor prescribed me the T but my ability to get hard didn’t really improve from it. My urologist told me that physicly everything is okay with me and my dick should be able to function properly. He suggested to see a psychologist and that my issues are probably realted to my psychology and my views on sex. At this time I wasn’t sure about it. After some research however I know that my views on sex have nothing to do with my ED. I don’t really have any “bad” views on sexuality. I discovered something that I could not really believe when I found it.

http://yourbrainonporn.com/

This site tells you about erectile dysfunction and how it appears because of the overconsumtion of porn. At first I couldnt believe anything I saw. The statistics. The videos. It all appeared to me like some giant scam. Something to make people paranoid. But then again, why would they put so much effort in building a site to bash pornography just for the sake of it. It was still surreal to me but I decided to give it a try. I didn’t had anything to lose afterall. I tried it for a couple of times but failed miserably. I didn’t take the information really seriously and I thought people just want to make me stay away from porn because of some moral reasons. I had a girlfriend during the time I tried to quit and with her I was mostly able to have sex. However I had to “force” myself everytime to get an errection. Often times it wasn’t possible at all and 99 percent of the time I was not able to cum at all. I think I had like 4 orgasms during our entire relationsship.

The real turning point came at the 16.01.2016. I could not take anything of this anymore. I hated to have not much of a sex life. I hated the fear of bringing girls home and not getting hard with them. I did not want to have a Asexual relationship all my life just because I could not stop masturbating to porn. None of this shit anymore. The only solution was to quit porn, masturbation and orgasms alltogether (No PMO). And so I did. Today is the 31.05.2016 and I am not over my erectile dysfunction yet.Even after more then 4 entire months of staying away from porn (with the exeption of maybe 4 relapses) I am still not able to have normal sex with a girl anytime I want. My libido still comes and go in phases. Everything is getting better though. And I am definatly better then when I freshly started this journey. As I read it can take up to a year to fully recover from porn and be able to have a normal sex.life again. I give myself 2-8 months to be back to normal again. The fact that I see improvements already gives me hope and keeps me going.

Some things that I noticed since quitting porn:

Before:
– No libido whatsoever. I had to turn on porn to get an erection. I was addicted to watching porn and only had the desire to take a look at porn. I had no “libido” because I had no desire for real sex
– I could pretty much only get hard with porn. I had to “force” myself to get it up with a real girl
– No orgasms. I litarally had to “force” myself to get an orgasm and even then it just wasnt possible most of the time
– I was in a dizzy state of mind all the time. I was less focused. And had less desire to talk to people in general. I was okay with sitting in a dark room all day and even prefered it over interacting with people

After:
– Libido is comming back. Slowly but surely. I am still not as horny as I used to be but at least I have stages where I get horny. A couple day ago I was as horny as I haven’t been in years and it felt so great.  can’t wait to have this feeling again on a daily basis
– I can get hard with girls. Still I am lacking consistency. But I am able to get hard with girls on a more regular basis. And the erection quality generally improved.
– A couple days ago I had 2 orgasms in a row! And they came naturall and i didn’t had to force myself to get one. It was incredible
– My mind is more clear and focussed. I can retain information btter and I am more focussed in general.

 

My problem isn’t unique though. And you should get some hope out of this when you are in the same position. My friend who is a dating-coach told me a lot of his clients have the same issue. He himself is reliant on viagra. He used to watch an insane amount of porn when he was younger and used to do mega-session (5+ hours of porn at the time) just like me. Another friend of mine who just turned 21 took two girls home from a night club last week and was not able to get it up with both of them.

Take it as a warning. Quit porn no matter where you are in life. If you have a GF. If you are able to perform normally at the moment. Or if you already have some issues with your penis. It doesn’t really matter. Because porn will certainly not help you to improve your erection quality or sex life in any way.

This is one of a few articles that I want to write on the subject. Others will include suggesstions on how to stay away from porn and some ways to speed up the recovery process. Quit the porn and stay tuned for more.